Signs of a novice SQL Server DBA – JOKE

There is always a cold war between a developer and DBA, never mind.. they fight for a good reason, they argue to get some productive solution for their project. A healthy argument is always good, that benefits you and the organisation.

Top 10 Signs of a novice SQL Server DBAErrorMessage_Joke

1. Performance = buy better hardware.
2. Forcefully argue that indexing every field in the databases is the best way to increase performance (right after buying better hardware)
3. They find indexing easy by generating missing indexes from DMVs.
4. Duplicate index does not matter.
5. Putting NOLOCK hint after every table is a strongly recommended practice, whether the query is an update statement or a select.
6. They think adding a foreign key improves the performance.
7. Believe that adding a foreign key constraint with the ‘Enforce Relationship’ check box unchecked is the best of both worlds, it defines relationships without having to deal with ‘those pesky constraint errors’ while modifying the data.
8. Debug = Profiler.
9. Data files and log file together on the same disk space is not a performance killer. It makes maintenance easy..
10. Solution to every problem is service recycle, if it does not work then a server reboot.

Prasad Sahoo

Prasad Sahoo, is an enthusiast of Microsoft technologies in general and a passionate database professional, mainly focusing on SQL Server performance tuning and business intelligence. He has contributed a long time of his career working on SQL Server and other RDBMS. If he is not busy with SQL stuff then he must be watching some Hollywood movies.

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